If he had lived,
I wouldn't be here.
My parents only wanted
two kids around the house.
With my brother still alive,
I wouldn't be sitting here today
So I know there was a reason.
There has to be a reason.
God wanted me to stay,
and Zachary to go.
But what could it be?
What can I do
to make the pain
worthwhile?
What is it that I'm going to contribute
to the world
that makes the pain,
the agony in my mother's hazel eyes
worth it?
What can I do,
to live up to the opportunity that I was given
through the pain and misfortune
of losing an infant son?
There are times I think
my life can't be worth it.
my life can't be worth the pain it caused
to lose that infant boy.
With him died our family name,
left to a generation of girls.
With him, died part of my parent's hearts
part of the laughter in my mother's hazel eyes.
So how is my life
worth that pain that I can plainly see
behind those hazel eyes.
The pain that travels in her gaze
from his picture on to me
as if to ask
"Why take him?"
I'm sure my mother loves me,
I'm positive she does.
But I'll never be the son she lost
I'll never take away the pain
behind her hazel eyes.
Why take him?
Why leave me?
what am I to the world?
What can I do to fix the pain
behind my mother's hazel eyes?